What do you really want? Years ago, I had my eye on a used Volkswagen Cabrio convertible. It was white with tan interior. “Should I get it?” I asked the Jungian analyst I was seeing at the time.

“Let me ask you this,” he replied. “What does this car symbolize to you?”

I thought a moment and answered: “Not caring so much what others think; being creative, free, spontaneous, and not so serious.”

My analyst paused, allowing my answers to soak in, and then responded: “Buy the car, or not; it really doesn’t matter. But know that these are the things you are truly wanting in your life right now.”

His was a lesson I’ve never forgotten. Whenever I want something, I try to remember to look deeper to see what it is that I am really seeking.

I bought the convertible, and almost every time I drove it I remembered the real reason I purchased it.

And say it proudly. Those of you who have attended my seminars know I feel that the way we say our names conveys our self-confidence. “When you introduce yourself, state your name as if you were proud of it,” I counsel.

A while back, I was conducting a seminar for the Georgia Leadership Institute at Lake Lanier Islands and one of the participants told me this story:

“I grew up with a father who was both abusive and an alcoholic. As awful as he was at times, he gave me a gift that I have carried through my life. Whenever I would leave the house – to take a test, play in a competitive sport, or act in a play – he would say to me, ‘Erica, remember your name.’ When I remember this, I stand a little taller and walk a little slower.”