Build Your Leaders

Postcard from Asheville, NC

JUNE 2010

I often struggle with how personal I can get in these eNewsletters. After all, many of you signed up after a workshop seeking career advice. Every now and then a reader will comment that he is surprised how personal I get, and I've noticed that when I write an especially personal article, a number of people unsubscribe. I recently asked a friend for advice. He responded, "I would rather you lose subscribers than lose your voice." A wise man, my friend.

I'll continue to offer articles that offer career advice and speak to life's issues. Some will be personal, others not. It's been said that you can't be all things to all people. I've found that the people who benefit most from this work are professional men and women who embrace professional and personal growth. They believe happiness can be found through connection and contribution. They strive to be self-aware, authentic, service-oriented, and successful.

I offer these men and women:

  • A proprietary process that facilitates self-discovery, which is essential for clarifying personal perspective, true purpose, and professional image 
  • Encouragement, clarity, guidance, and support  
  • A safe environment in which to do their work  
  • The confidence, skills, and vision to take their lives to the next level 

I hope you'll continue to stay in our tribe. I like having you as a member.

Moving Out

It's been said no one died from a broken heart, but I'm not convinced. It feels like death to me.

Greg, my partner of three years, is moving out. Greg was the first person I've lived with since my divorce from my wife, Jill, more than ten years ago.

No one is to blame; we grew apart. I've wondered what happened. Was it the age difference? There's a twenty-two year age gap between us. Or, was it different values and interests? While all these factors probably contributed to our split, I think we simply didn't put enough energy in the relationship.

When a couple gets together there are three entities at play: there's you, your partner, and the relationship. My sense is that our relationship didn't get the love, care, and feeding it needed to survive. Hindsight is twenty-twenty.  Learn from the past, and slowly walk forward.

My intention has been to manage our separation with as much love and grace as I can muster. So far, so good.  I am proud of us; I am proud of me. Maybe I've learned something after all.

Our friends are relieved that we are still friends. It makes it easier for everyone. In time, some friends may fade away, but that's life, and life is about change.

Even though, I know it's the right thing to do, I hurt. I hate pain. In the past, I would have accelerated my activities to numb it. This time, I am not. I am sitting with the pain. Don't get me wrong, I want it to pass-and pass quickly-but I want to feel it this time. It's the only way I can get through this with all of me in tact.

I love Greg, and even though we are separating I will continue to love him. I will carry a small piece of him in my heart, as he will carry forward a small piece of me.

Yes, I am sad. I am in pain, but I have no regrets.

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